My new obsession: Farmer's Markets

I know, I know...many of you are like...Farmer's Markets...seriously?  Don't you have cooler things to be obsessed with?

For whatever reason in years past, Farmer's Market's were very intimidating to me. I didn't know what to expect, so in usual Amber fashion, that means anxiety and usually decision to not go.  Well, I decided to start small by checking out a farm stand and then I graduated to the Farmer's markets this June as they opened.  Starting small on the journey to do new things...

And now I'm in love.  I love the wonderfully fresh produce.  I've been eating more veggies than ever - even some I had thought I started to dislike in recent years.  I'm saving money, getting to talk to farmers.  I bring Gianna so she sees it and experiences it.

For any of my local followers...(do I even have any?), a great resource:
http://www.nectfarmersmarket.org/

Some of my favorites I've gotten this year:

Wayne's Organic Garden - (Ironically right down the road, but only available via CSA or the farmer's market)
- Organic Rainbow Swiss Chard - Best I've ever had!
- Organic Cucumbers
- Organic peppers
- Organic squash

Betsy's Stand (another local farm stand you can go to to buy stuff)
- Broccoli - BEST I'VE EVER HAD - I actually went and asked for more...but alas, the damn hot weather killed it all...and now I'm craving it yet again.
- They also sell beef, but I have yet to try it.

I continue to go to the farm stand I originated - Campbell's Farm Stand
I get my beef there - ground beef.  Locally raised, free range, hormone free - wonderfully delicious and priced very well.
Got asparagus there and I now have a new fondness for asparagus.
Bacon - oh, wonderful bacon that doesn't contain all the other garbage.  So tasty!

I've been amazed at how wonderful this food all tastes and I'm loving my weekly trips to supplement what I'm growing in my garden  It's also wonderful to get out of the house, out in nature and talk to the farmers.  I'm spending my money locally.  So many positives.  I'm really starting to love getting out in my community and doing more locally.

So I encourage you to check out a local farmer's market...don't be intimidated like I was...the trip is TOTALLY worth it.

~a

PS - and you find some of the best cookies there - G and I get an oatmeal raisin cookie each week.. :)

Operation De-clutter has begun

So as I mentioned in my last post, I want to start my own Happiness Project...still working on the real details of that, but if you want more info, check out Gretchen Rubin's book "The Happiness Project".

One of the items she mentions early on in the book (In an effort to get more energy) is to declutter.  This really resonated with me.  I have all these places in the house - you know the ones - where you tuck the junk or you open a drawer or door and can't find what you want quickly.  Yeah, those places.

Probably because I'm anal retentive, those places stress me out.  But so does having "stuff" all over the place - especially with a toddler around.  So I'm on a mission to declutter.  I did some work yesterday and it already feels AMAZING.

Here's what I'm talking about when I say declutter:
1) Our kitchen table and island are like holding vaults for all the "stuff" that comes in our house.  I HATE that.  I want the table nice and clean and the island clear for doing other things.  So I want to find other, more organized ways to put the stuff that ends up on the table and island.  Operation declutter step 1 - get a coat hook thingy, hang it up right inside the door.  guess what...no more coats, dog leashes, or bags on the chairs.  Yay.  They are easier to get to, out of G's reach (momentarily of course), and so much more organized.  I got my chairs back! 

I'm also planning to get a simply desk/table to put between my bathroom and pantry doors where all the paper stuff (mail, invoices, receipts, etc) ends up before it makes it way to the office/recycling bin/garbage for storage.  In my eco-friendly manner, I'm hoping to find this at a local consignment shop.  I've seen nice new ones at Target, but I'm betting I can get the same style, probably better quality, for much cheaper.  That's my next goal...just need to get to the store I'm thinking of...Maybe next weekend..(ha ha).  I drive past it each day on my way to and from work...just never have time to stop.

2) My closet - So I had all these clothes and things laying around my closest that  let's face it - I'll never wear or use.  For some reason, I felt the need to hold onto them in the event I *might* wear it or use it some day.  I've gotten over that.  So I cleaned off my hangers - anything that didn't fit or that I never wear went into the donation pile.  A bunch of shoes I bought that I ultimately found uncomfortable or that are now out of style...donation pile.  Maternity clothes - in the bin to go back to my sister in law or to have on hold for the future if we decide to have another...whichever comes first.  Either way, they are now in a bin, nice and organized.  I threw away a bunch of empty shoe boxes and cluttery stuff in there.  It looks pretty nice now I gotta say.

3) Kitchen - Yesterday as I was cleaning in prep for the in-laws to come over today, I realized...my baby isn't a baby anymore.  So I bagged up the bottles and peripheries.  Upstairs they went into my closet since there's so much extra room up there.  They'll either be used when we have another or donated once we make a decision.  I also decided to declutter the counters from her stuff by making room in the cupboards for her plates, dishes, bowls, etc.  Feels great.  For my next (upcoming) idea, which requires Joe's help, I'm planning to put up some hooks to hang these awesome coffee cups he got for us and to put some hooks in the cabinets to organize the pans better.

I still have a lot more projects to go - but it's definitely a lot of progress and it feels good.  There's the hallway closet, junk drawers (oh yeah, we have 2 or 3 of them now), and office that I know of.  I also want to go through the garage again too.  This time the plan is really cleanse ourselves of stuff.  We have some things we keep holding onto...no need.  Let's trash it or find new homes for it.  Then we can fill that space up with stuff we'll use...in an organized manner of course.

So I'm off...to declutter some more before G wakes up from her nap...so I probably have a half hour..tops.  Maybe I'll just enjoy my coffee instead. :)

~A

Time is relative...

I was thinking this morning as I was driving to the store to pick up G's first birthday cake (OMG - I know right?  More on this later!), and thought, wow four hours to her party - that's so little time to get everything ready.  However, four hours of work - SOOOOOO long it seems.  Crazy huh? 

And then, there are times when I think a year lasts forever.  As I get older time goes faster.  However, now that G is around - time FLIES.  Seriously - a year ago today it was Gianna's first week of life and we were adjusting to being parents.  She was so tiny and needy.  Today she's a big girl and super independent. 

My little baby isn't a baby anymore. Nope, she's a toddler.  Even though she's been walking for over five months, I felt like I could still say she was a baby since she was under one. Now she's just my baby and a toddler to everyone else.  I'm sure very soon we'll be hearing her say (or demand) I'm a big girl.  We'll see.  She can stay small for now.

Here's G's first birthday video from NBC 10:
http://www2.turnto10.com/lifestyles/2011/apr/04/first-birthdays-april-4-2011-ar-442894/

My little girl is growing up way to fast!

~a

Welcome to the world Baby Grasso - Gianna's Birth Story

Before and during my pregnancy, I always enjoyed reading other people's birth stories, so I decided to chronicle mine on my blog. That way, if my baby girl ever wants to see what Momma's labor and delivery was like, it'll be here.

I woke up early on Saturday, April 3, 2010 with some rather painful cramps around 8:30 am. Didn't really seem all that out of the ordinary since I'd been having cramps on and off for weeks and I was 41 weeks pregnant according to my Dr.'s office (40 weeks 3 days by my own calculation using my ovulation date). By 9:30 am, I realized that I thought I might be having contractions because I was getting some pretty intense cramps and they kept coming. I got in the shower and then after that I woke up Joe and asked him to take a shower because I thought I might be having contractions and I wasn't sure how fast things would progress. After that he laid on the couch and took a little nap - man was I jealous!

By 11 am I was starting to have some 'bloody show' - I'll spare the details of what that is for those who don't know it (you can google it if you'd like to know), so I was pretty sure this was labor. I called my doula, Severine Degnan of Birth in Harmony, and told her I was pretty sure I was having contractions. She told me to make sure to eat, stay hydrated, and continue moving to get through the contractions and to keep her updated on the progress. They didn't seem to last very long at this point, but we weren't really timing them.

A little while later Joe started timing the contractions - I seemed to be getting them in a somewhat irregular series of three - I'd get one that would last 30 seconds or so, get a minute or two break, then another that would last 45 seconds or so, then get a minute or so break, then get a contraction that would last 15 seconds. Then I would go 6 or 7 minutes before I'd get another series. Since my Dr.'s office and doula said not to worry until they were lasting one minute and consistently 4 - 5 minutes apart, I wasn't too worried, although I was in a lot of pain. Joe was trying to keep his calm, but very stressed and panicked. He was so worried we'd wait to long to go to the hospital. I had him call his parents to come and pick up Kona because I wasn't sure how far off things would be and kind of didn't want the dog around as things progressed, even though he was responding to things surprisingly well.

I tried to take a bath at that point, but laying down was so painful and I just wasn't comfortable. After that I took a shower, which was so nice and helped me relax and get through the pain of a few contractions. By the time I got out, Joe's parents were here. I was thinking they were just going to get the dog and leave, but they hung around for a while and ended up getting something to eat at Weidele's down the road - much to my dismay. I wasn't really comfortable having contractions while they were there and then the food smell was disgusting.

Severine called a couple times to check on us again, but since I was still getting contractions in waves she wasn't too concerned. I remember at some point she said if the contractions didn't start lasting longer by 8 pm to try and get some sleep and all I could think of was, that is NEVER going to happen, way too much pain! Joe was a great labor partner though and read through the acupressure guide Sev had given us and used some of those to help me with the pain and he kept making me eat and drink even though I didn't really want to eat.

Finally Joe's parents left around 5:30 pm or so. I started feeling nauseous and ended up throwing up despite my efforts not to (I had taken a phenergan since I hate throwing up so much!) After that, I took another shower to try and relax and worked through some contractions. That was such a nice reprieve from the pain! I got downstairs again around 6:30 or so and we timed the contractions again - some were starting to last longer, almost a minute or so, but everything said to let it be like that for an hour so we waited some more (much to Joe's dismay this time I'm sure - he was getting very stressed about going to the hospital). I got on the laptop to have a little distraction. Between 7 and 7:30 at some point I felt the need to go the bathroom and as I got up felt a little gush, then when I got to the toilet a large gush - oh boy my water had broken. Now we had to go to the hospital. Joe called Sev to let her know and she said she'd meet us there. I called my Dr's office and spoke to the midwife on duty Kristen to let her know I'd be coming in. I also called the hospital to let them know we were on our way.

Then we got all the things together and headed to the hospital. Ironically, my water breaking was a nice break I needed. My contractions slowed down a lot - almost 15 minutes apart, lasting only a short time and much less intense. It was a nice break, but I was also worried that I'd get to the hospital and be told that I was only a couple centimeters dilated and need pitocin or something. I was so nervous about that. The good side was that this allowed me to text a bunch of people and update facebook so people knew I was in labor and heading to the hospital.

Got to Women & Infants hospital in Providence, RI around 8:45 or so and after all the stories I'd heard about people getting stuck in triage for a long time I was pleasantly surprised to find that I got right in and it was so slow that two nurses were 'battling' over who go to see me. Everything was looking good - my blood pressure was good, the baby's heart beat was good, and finally got an internal to see where things were at. When I saw and felt the woman put four fingers in and spread them out I knew it was good news - I was 7 cm already! Thank God!

Since I was planning a natural, unmedicated birth I asked if the ABC (Alternative Birthing Center) was available. It was! Got into the room - it was so nice. Big queen bed, dimmed lights, and a jacuzzi tub. I got hooked up to get my first dose of medicine since I was GBS positive. While that was working through, Sev suggested we do some walking so Joe, Sev, and I walked around the hospital a bit to try and get my contractions coming again and back up. That sure helped. We went back to the room and I spent a good amount of time squatting bent forward and over the toilet - for whatever reason, those were the most comfortable positions. I think I also hated seeing the fluid and blood that dropped out occasionally when standing and preferred it go in the toilet - still anal retentive while in labor!

I was so hot and Joe and Sev kept putting wet clothes on my head and back. As much as I wanted to use the tub, the thought of hot water at that point was sickening. I started to have some urges to push around 11 pm so they checked me again - I was 9 cm - so close! Around 1145 the urge to push was stronger and they checked me again - still only 9 cm - I had a lip to my cervix pushed in front that needed to move before I should try and push. The midwife Kristen suggested I try and stand vertically or lay down horizontally to get the pressure off the front so that lip could move so I could fully dilate. Laying down was incredibly painful so I opted to stand and sit on the ball - Joe was really helpful here - holding me up, putting pressure on my back and supporting me when contractions came. I was also kind of happy to see that midnight was close so I wouldn't have the baby on my sister in law Stacey's birthday since I wanted Gianna to have her own birthday.

As time went on the urge to push go stronger and stronger. I got sick again, but felt a little better after that. They checked me a few more times and the lip was getting smaller, but not going away. Around 2:30 am they checked me and it was almost gone so Kristen suggested that she try to push it out of the way during my next contraction so I could start pushing after that. They had me lay down and when I got my contraction she used a couple fingers to massage it out of the way and then I was allowed to push. I pushed for a little over three hours, mostly laying in bed with my legs held up by Sev and the nurses. They were starting to worry though because my blood pressure was getting kind of high, but the baby was doing great, so they let me continue to push. Around 5:15 or 5:30 I was getting exhausted and I think the Dr's were really getting worried. I was almost to the breaking point and kept thinking of my Grandfather and how if he made it through a decade of cancer that I COULD do this and needed to keep going.

They had called in an OB to be around (I'm guessing they were starting to think I'd need a c-section) and when I heard that I was determined to get the baby out. I pushed really hard for my next couple of contractions and finally at 5:43 am Gianna Catherine Lee Grasso met the world. They laid her on my stomach, but she was purple from not breathing after being born so they quickly cut her cord and took her to the table where she very quickly screamed, pinked up, and pooped on them - That's my girl! They cleaned her up, weighed her - 7 pounds 13 ounces - and then brought her back to me to have skin to skin contact and to breastfeed.

She was so beautiful and looked so much like Joe. I was surprised that she didn't have a crazy shaped head after all the pushing. She was very awake and alert which surprised all of the staff and us. She nursed and latched on like a pro, which was a relief.

I had the smallest of all tears (to the surprise again of the staff) and didn't need stitches. Pushing out the placenta was more painful than I expected and I needed a dose of pitocin to get it out and to help stop the bleeding, which I was okay with. It finally came out and then we were allowed to bond and relax. They brought me breakfast - which was the best eggs and English muffin I'd had in forever - my God was I hungry! Then I had to pee like crazy - I guess usually woman take a while to pee - not me - like 20 minutes after delivering I was peeing and it felt great!

We finally got up to our room around 8:45 am or so and I had to pee again, so I went again. Lucky me had fulfilled the post delivery requirement of two bathroom trips already, so no more monitoring that. We both had such a rush of adrenaline and spent some time calling, emailing, and texting friends and family to let them know about our beautiful Easter baby.

So that's Gianna's birth story. Looking back, I'm so glad we had a doula - I don't think we ever would have made it through the delivery unmedicated without her. I also think if we hadn't had her there I likely would have ended up with a c-section due to that lip in my cervix and my high blood pressure. She was such a great support system and was a great encouragement. Delivering at the ABC was also a wonderful experience - there was always either a nurse or midwife in there - a lot of time there was a nurse, midwife, Sev, Joe, and I all there - which was so different from what I've heard others say of regular deliveries and more of what I wanted. I'm not sure if we'll have another baby, but if we do, I'm still up in the air if I'll go natural again - it was surprisingly less painful than I expected, but I'm not sure I'd want to have to have any pain next time - although it was nice to have a nice, alert baby afterwards, so I'm up in the air. It did feel very empowering and natural, so we'll cross that bridge when we get there. :) Joe would definitely prefer I do medicated, but I don't know, we'll see.

Either way, all I know is I'm thoroughly enjoying motherhood and I'm amazed at how quickly this lovely girl has transformed my life for the better and filled us both with so much love and joy.

A great man died today...

A great man died today. A man I not only owe my life to (literally), but a man who taught me so many things about the world and who helped me become the person I am today. You won't find him in the history books and beyond those who were lucky enough (and I truly mean LUCKY enough) to have actually met him and spent time with him, many won't realize how tragic of a loss the world has experienced.

My Grandfather George Lee Buck, who was more commonly known as Jack, Dad, Grandpa, or Pappy to those around him passed away after close to a decade of fighting cancer and infections. As strong and humbly as he dealt with those battles, it's many of the other battles in life that I'll remember him most for. It's all the lessons he taught me, ever so patiently in his calm and quiet manner that will go on in this world. It's the values and skills that he taught me that have made me the person I am today and that I will hopefully be able to pass onto another generation who will go out and make an impact in this world.

You see, my Grandma was the epitome of a hard working American. One of the good ole' guys who didn't expect the world to give him anything for free, who knew that to earn and get anything you had to go out and work for it - and not just work for it, but work HARD for it. He had the scars, calluses, and other marks to prove it. He fought in World War II and later went on to become the farmer that I remember him to be. I'm sure there are many other things he did in his life that I know nothing about, but these are the things I remember most about him.

From a very young age I loved to spend time with Grandpa. The summers I got to spend at my grandparents house were wonderful and are some of my dearest memories. Even the sweet, sweet smell of Grandpa - it's some combination of soap, aftershave, sweat, grease, oil, and nature. He woke up with the sun and was always working. He worked with his hands and worked hard. You could almost always find him in the garage covered with sweat from head to toe working on something. As busy as he was, he was always willing to show you how to do something or to let you help - and sometimes even happy enough to walk away and share in life's simplest treasures such as catching roly polys or crawdads - and on very special occasions partaking in our tea parties of Grandma's wonderful sweet tea, Orville redenbocker popcorn (that I never could get to taste as good as it does when my Grandma makes it), and cheddar cheese on the car port.

Grandpa, being from the military followed a specific schedule. Breakfast was nice and early - I can't remember the exact time at this point in my life since it's been so long it seems now, but if I recall correctly it was around 7:30 or so. As a child I was a morning person, so I'd wake up to enjoy breakfast with Grandpa. Oh how I valued that time. Sitting at the bar in the kitchen drinking carnation instant breakfast with a twinkie. At least that's how it was most of time. Every now and then we'd have eggs or something else and Welch's grape juice. I remember once Grandpa cooked and made SOS - Shit on Shingles he called it (holy moly I think my Grandfather actually used a curse word once that I know of!). He learned how to make it in the military he said. I think Grandma had an early appointment or something that day and I was lucky enough to be there at that moment to experience Grandpa's cooking. To this day I don't think I've ever had something like biscuits and gravy that tasted so good. And I don't think I've ever seen (or heard of) Grandpa cook ever again.

Lunch, or dinner as he called it, was always served promptly at noon - except on Saturdays when it might stretch to 12:30 or 1. Lunch was another special thing around the house. It was always beans on an alternating schedule - butter beans (Lima beans) one week and then brown (pinto) beans the next - or at least as long as they lasted during the week. We'd have them with bread, cheese, and sometimes summer sausage. Again, Saturdays were special since the beans were usually gone by then and we'd get pizza or something else depending on what Grandpa felt like. After lunch, there was always a nice home made pie - and I mean home made - from scratch. Grandma is a great cook and Grandpa always let her and everyone else know that. She also spoiled us all and usually had two pies or at least a pie and another option and she tried to make your favorite. I always loved pecan pie. Grandpa just liked pie, although I'm pretty sure besides Mississippi mud pie that he got on his birthday that apple or cherry were his favorites. We'd eat dinner and watch the news. I have those recipes that my Grandma sent me. They aren't as good as when she makes it and will never taste as good as they did eating them with Grandpa, but at least I'll always come close to this when I make it.

If we were lucky, after lunch Grandpa would read the paper and read us the funnies. He'd take a short nap usually and then if we were REALLY lucky, he'd have gotten enough done in the morning that we could go out and have some real fun. It might be driving to one of the pastures to check on the cows, going fishing, visiting a friend, or running errands - It didn't really matter what we were doing, just that we were doing it with Grandpa. It seemed like my Grandpa knew everyone and everyone knew him. And everyone loved him it seemed. I don't recall ever seeing my Grandpa in a quarrel with anyone or anything for that matter. One year when I was in fourth or fifth grade I had a project for school I was working on during Christmas break and Grandpa spent the entire afternoon helping me build a semi truck from scratch. We got a Colgate tooth paste long rectangle box and a small Tylenol box. He helped me glue them together to make the cab and trailer. Then he helped me fiberglass resin it so they were nice and sturdy. Then we painted it. Then, he helped me make axles and wheels so my truck would move out of a maple tree limb and random parts he had around the garage. It took us all afternoon and it was the coolest thing I recall ever making. I remember going back to class and being the only person who actually made it from scratch - a lot of other kids didn't even have one and no one else's was home made and actually moved - my darn truck rolled and everything! I'm pretty sure I still have that truck at my mom's house somewhere - with as much resin as it has on it it might survive a nuclear attack. That reminds me that I need to find that somewhere...

Dinner (well, supper as he called it since lunch was dinner) was always around 5:30. And there was always gravy - Grandpa ate gravy on everything - even spaghetti! And I'm not talking red sauce as 'gravy' as the Italians up here in Rhode Island call it, I'm talking creamy gravy. So there'd be pasta with red sauce and meatballs and he'd put good ole' cream gravy on top. Grandpa would drink his sweet tea and enjoy his food. After supper we'd have pie or some other treat again and Grandpa would again lay on the couch and watch the news.

After supper was the best time. Grandpa always had time for fun then. Whether it was playing cards, checkers (we even had a Chinese checkers board), going fishing, etc. it didn't matter because it was fun because Grandpa was there and his smile lit up the world. He had the type of smile that warmed up a room. Very wide and contagious. You couldn't help but feel like everything else in the world was perfect and okay after seeing that smile. Nothing could go wrong or be wrong in its presence. And his laugh - I kind of wish I had a recording of it now because I can almost hear it in my mind, but just not quite. It's been a while since I heard his real laugh as it just wasn't the same after the cancer wore him down. Such a wonderful, heart warming laugh.

Grandpa taught me how to drive. And not just drive, but to drive a manual. He parked me in the bottom of the big dip in the drive to the pond where we used to always have our family reunions and got his fishing pole and tackle box out of the back and walked. He said when I could get out of that dip both forward and backward and come and pick him up I'd be good to go. I can't remember how long it took me to get that little Mitsubishi pick up out of that dip, but I did and he was right - I was good to go.

Grandpa is the reason I went to school for marketing. He'd take the time to look at my writing and my drawings and would ask me what I wanted to do in life. I told him I wasn't sure....he said I should look into marketing...and I did...and he was right...I like it. I always wanted to make him proud and I hope I did.

Grandpa never lost his patience and he had a great way of teaching you all of life's important lessons without lecturing or talking down to you. I learned the value of hard work, morality, truthfulness, loyalty, care, nurturing, and so much more from him. I learned about working with my hands and working with the soil and animals. You see, Grandpa never coddled me because I was a girl - he let me help and taught me about things. It's why I'm not afraid of worms and bugs. And it's why I know a lot of what I know today and why I'm not afraid to try and do things with my hands or even try try and do things at all - I'm not afraid of failing you see. Failure is just a chance to learn and to try harder to get it done.

Selfishly, I really wish that my daughter would have had a chance to meet him and learn from him like I did - or at least know how great of a man he was. But I think I knew it wouldn't happen as sick as he's been lately and the more rational part of me is glad that his suffering is over and he's in a happier place now where he can work as much as he wants without pain and without worrying about the weather outside. I was really hoping he would at least last until my baby was born so he could know her name and know that we are naming her partly after him.

I also wish I had more pictures of him - especially from the good times. You see, like me, Grandpa didn't like getting his picture taken so there aren't that many pictures of him that I know of. I have a few myself. I do have some of his military photos from the 50's and I have to say I can see why my Grandma fell in love with him. I don't like to look too much at the recent photos as that's not the way I want to remember Grandpa. I like to remember him from the good days when he was strong and happy. When he always had sunflower seeds in his pick up to snack on from when he quit smoking...yet another battle he won.

A great man died today. For the few who might read this, you probably won't think of this again after today. For me though, I wouldn't be here without this man - his blood flows through my veins (we share the same blood type ironically), the sparkle in his eye is also in my eye, and the orneriness that we shared - all of this will go on in me. I can only hope to pass this on in my daughter and hope that from time to time he can and will look down on us and smile that wonderful smile of his, knowing how wonderful of a job he did being a Grandpa and great man and knowing how much of an impact he had on our world.